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I’m On Drugs!

August 24, 2012

In a matter of days, I have gone from healthy to totally wasted. I am now a shell of the man I used to be. I’m on drugs!

It’s amazing to me how fast one can get into that stuff. After years of working with teens and parents who were using, I never imagined that it would happen to me. I will forever look upon those who can no longer stand tall with an entirely different attitude. I am their brother, father, and grandfather! I am one of them!

It all started with a rock. We are building a garage here in the mountains. My contractor wanted a small retaining wall on one side of the garage entrance. He spotted a boulder on the property and got all excited. “That one would be perfect!” he said. Well, yeah, I thought. One rock and for all practical purposes you had half the wall. The damn thing was huge.

No problem! He had a plan you see. Get the old pickup and roll the rock up into the bed on a couple of boards. We wouldn’t even have to lift it. I thought he meant himself and his helper. Oh, no! He included me!

Men get into trouble a lot from the pressure that comes from companions and friends. I have done many stupid things in my day, because a man just has to, particularly if there is anything like a dare involved. I got shot in the chest with a target arrow one time because one of my buddies wanted to see what would happen. Thank goodness he didn’t draw back all the way. As it was I had a bloody indentation in my chest bone. But hey, I was cool! Do you see, that’s how it works?

So I help with the rock. I’m getting long in the tooth, but my builder is older. He’s about five one and in his mid seventies! I’m six five and strong! How can I say, no? The three of us actually rolled that damn thing up two shaky planks and into the truck! The next morning I could hardly get out of bed.  I walked, if you can call it that, like the Frankenstein monster, arms and legs going every which way. Actually I roared like him too, when the spasms came.

I sought out the drugs.

I’m getting better now. I should be fine in a month or so. So what’s the big deal? I just wanted you guys to know that I’m still the man! That’s right! You’re looking at a stud! I can toss a 275 pound rock into the back of a truck! Don’t mess with me! You understand!

Honey, it’s time for more pills!

From → Aging, Humor, Life Stories

7 Comments
  1. This one is hilarious…good to laugh about it…

  2. haha!!! I got a kick out of this! I see things never change with men! My husband required surgery on his back two years ago because of course “he was strong enough to lift that!” Peer pressure is so much more than just drugs!!

  3. I finally know what happened. Great blog. SO true about Men and the pressure to be strong. Enjoy the drugs.

  4. A cubic meter of rock averages around 2500 kg (about 5500 lbs). If this rock was “huge” it weighed a lot more than 275 lbs. No wonder your back is screwed up.

  5. HA! Been there. We guys are tough. We don’t need no stinkin’ help. We can do it. Been there but didn’t know you young whippersnapers had that problem too.

  6. Katherine Woodward permalink

    Glad to see how your eldest daughter and wife reacted. I can relate even if I am younger, 6 inches shorter, less than half your weight,,,,, and a female.

    • Glad you chimed in Kathy. Managing a blog and posting stories is hard, but at least one does not get hurt. Well, not yet anyway.

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